Forgiving Again….And Again

2 thoughts on “Forgiving Again….And Again”

  1. This confuses me on several levels. A long-time co-worker, herself a recovering alcoholic who has enjoyed bountiful spiritual and secular counseling, once said to me “Something isn't truly forgiven unless it's forgotten.”
    I have a tendency to agree with you, that forgetting just isn't an option. I come to that point of view as a serial grudge holder. It seems I remember every slight or perceived insult. There is a litany of offense I can recite for you at the snap of a finger. As much as I understand the desirability (or necessity) of forgiving those things, so far I have been unsuccessful.
    My point of view was altered on this recently as a result of a conversation I had with another long-time co-worker (interestingly, perhaps coincidentally, also a recovering addict). He offered an apology for a long-ago argument he said we had. He said he was over the top and he was asking for my forgiveness. Well, guess what? I didn't remember it and couldn't recall it. I said, “I don't remember that and there's no reason to dredge up ancient unpleasantness. Whatever it was, I obviously forgave you long ago. I can tell you, at this moment, I have nothing but warm feelings about you and I can't think of a time when that was different.” He smiled and shook my hand, and presumably tht was the end of that.
    So, I guess I have made an argument that something can be forgotten if it is forgiven.
    Conversely, there are perceived offenses that seemd egregious at the time which I recall but somehow elicit no residual anger. So, it appears that forgetting is not a neccessary component to forgiveness, but it can help.
    In the meantime, There are still things lurking just beneath the surface for which I really yearn for apologies.
    And, of course, there's another novel yet to be written on forgiving myself.
    So, thanks and no thanks for dredging this stuff up.
    Good job so far, young blogger.


  2. Thanks, Darrell. Those in recovery have much to say about forgiveness and I'm grateful to hear it. Regardless of where we land on the relationship between forgiving and forgetting, I have to admit that forgiveness is serious spiritual work for me. The rewards are tremendous, but sometimes it is very hard work!


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